Monday, June 28, 2010

Dont waste your time making wishes on each passing shooting star. Hold my hand tight and say your wish aloud. With all my might i will do my best to make your wish come true. I may fail but at least you will see me trying compared to the shooting star that you will never see again. - Paul Diaz

Saturday, June 26, 2010




Hey why are you hiding here?

- oh its you, its too hot inside

You have been here for two hours now and the sun is already setting

- yeah, i like to watch the sunset

But the sun is on the other side, you cant see it from here

- Yes i know

So why are you here?

- (sighs) i want to be alone

(Smirks) You missed this place dont you?

- yeah, this used to be my play ground

They sure missed you, they are all happy to see you again

- I can see that

The problem is they dont know that you have changed

- No i didnt!

Yes you did, and you know you did

- I am still me

Are you still you?

- (sighs) ....

They know the old you, are you still the same person?

- ....

You pretend you are the old you

- i know, i can still be the old me

I know that, i can see you trying but you are elusive to their

- They dont have to know

Are you sure? These people accept you. You cheer them up.
I am sure they would like to know

- No they dont

Hmmmm... so what are you going to do if they keep asking questions?
Eventually you will have to answer them

- I can manage to change the topic...i can make them laugh instead

And you think they will not notice? These people care for you. They really missed you.
The moment you arrived they have been playing tug of war and you are the rope

- (smiles)

Oh is that a smile that i see? Thats rare

- yeah it strains my face muscles when i do that

There was a time when you were all smiles, what happened to you?

- do you really need to ask? you should know

I do, i just wanted to hear it from you

- ......

Cold treatment again. You are thinking of her again am i right?

- ...yeah

Why do you keep on punishing yourself? You are home, you should be happy

- ......

(Sighs) Happiness is a choice, you know that because she taught you that

- Thinking of her makes me happy

And sad at the same time

- yeah

Let her go

- i cant

Happiness is a choice, you are happy here i can tell

- I am. I would be happier with her

But you know that will never happen

- yes i know

Suffering is an option

- you dont have to remind me

You really are still in love with her are you?

- call me stupid but yes i am

You can never move on if you are that way

- maybe i dont want to move on

(laughs) And suffer for the rest of your life?

- No one will never know, i am a good pretender

You really are stupid, the people here know you are going through a rough patch.
Didnt you notice they are trying to cheer you up

- So they know?

Not really but they can sense that you are not yourself

- maybe i should pretend harder

Maybe you should move on

- .....

You and her...never gonna happen. You know that

- I know. But there is only one her, if there were many like her then i could have easily
move on

That is why each one is unique. There is only one her and only one you. The sad part is that
the one she wants to be with isnt you

- .......

Let her go

- i dont want to


- and what does that make you then?

Stupid too i guess (both laughing)

- I am still in love with her

I know but you have to let her go

- I wont

Let me repeat, you well know that you and her will never happen

- Yes but that doesnt mean i cant continue loving her

Oooh one sided love

- who ever said that love should be both ways? I still love her. Nothing has changed

Really? She isnt talking to you anymore

- So what? I still love her

Geez, you are really stubborn. Close the door on her already

- Sure, i can do that but i will always leave one window open

You really are amazing, do you want a rope and hang yourself?

- Sure, as long as you go first. I promise to follow (Both laugh)

(Sigh) So you are still madly in love with her

- (smiles) hell yeah

What makes her so special?

- (smiles wider) ...

Geez that smile says a lot, she is the only that can make you smile like that

- ....

So okay, you still love her. But you know that you and her will never happen right?

- Crystal clear

And you are okay with that?

- Perfectly

But you still have to move on with your life

- I surely will

Now i am confused, how in hell are you going to move on?

- So easy, live my life and continue loving her. Its not that hard

I really want to punch you in the face right now

- Hahahaha go ahead you will only be hurting yourself

Yeah i know, it would be stupid punching myself hahahaha

- Why do you keep asking me questions when you know the answers already?

Because you are one side of the coin and i am the other but still we are one coin

- I used to think that she was the other side

Stupid, i am here to keep you sane. If i leave you alone you have gone nuts already.
You should thank me for i maintain the balance in us. I actually am the old you. You better let me back in to make us complete. Call it a rediscovery.

- hahahaha and if i do you still you wont be able persuade me

Because you are madly in love with her. How can you beat the power of love?

- i know so you should stop trying

Dont worry i wont interfere anymore

- Oh and why is that?

Because i am also in love with her. Geez i am you and you are me

- (Laughs) We better go back inside before they think i am crazy

Oh dont worry talking to yourself is normal, but you are supposed to do it mentally
and not talk aloud like us (both laugh)

- Dont worry they dont know you exist, so i will take the blame

Oh so now i dont exist? I do exist and you are the imaginary one (laughs)

- (humming)


Cos if one day you wake up
And find that you're missin' me
And your heart start to wonder
Where on this earth i could be
Thinkin' maybe you come back
To the place that we meet
And you'd see me waitin' for you
At the corner of the street

I'm not movin'
I'm not movin'
I'm not movin'
I'm not movin'

- Wow you know that song too?

Stupid! You have been singing it for a week now

- and of course you are me (both laugh)

Cos if one day you wake up
And find that you're missin' me
And your heart start to wonder
Where on this earth i could be
Thinkin' maybe you come back
To the place that we meet
And you'd see me waitin' for you
At the corner of the street

I'm not movin'
I'm not movin'
I'm not movin'
I'm not movin'

What if you find someone new along the way?

- Stop asking questions that you already know the answer to...

Friday, June 25, 2010

Never A Memory

Never A Memory

by Paul Diaz

Two strangers we began, living separate worlds apart
A single text message sent and the pen of fate had to start
Our story began with a plot that was still unknown
Our worlds moved closer to each other, attracted to
the true colors that we have shown

Days have passed and barriers were torn down as our worlds became just one
Our story now had direction, our love story had just began
The smile i lost not so long ago you did return to my face
And so my heart began to beat again, my arms now longing for your embrace

Heroes are usually us men, with awe we sweep women of their feet
From the depths of depression my hero is you, armed with a love that
is true and sweet
The missing pieces of the broken me you filled with pieces of your own
There was no me, there was no you, it was now we as our love had grown

I was able to dream again, asleep or awake it was always the same
My once lifeless heart now was full of joy and keeps shouting your name
I once secluded myself, to hide from pain my heart i covered in stone
Now my heart is free, Its you i want, only you i want to be with,
you and you alone

A few more chapters and months that passed we finally met
You gave me the best birthday gift that i could ever get
To hold your hand, wrap you around my arms and see your smile
This are all the reasons that would make living worthwhile

Our story took a turn for the worst and fate ended it abruptly
What i thought was to be an epic novel became just a short story
This was something i was forced to accept, something i never wanted
What was recently a joyous heart was now beating so slowly, so lifeless
and seeming dead

I take out my phone and see a thousand messages, the memories bury me deeper
I close my eyes and then i do remember, our first kiss, our first embrace, and
the tons of laughter
Tears would do me no good, pleading wont even bring you back to me
I am in pain, i want you as you and never as a memory

It will take some time for me to move on and for this fool to accept
I am undergoing a very hard time for my stubborn heart is on write-protect
But all of this will pass because i already knew from the very start
The moment i said i love you, was the same time i broke my own heart

...still hoping that you will never be a memory