Sunday, May 1, 2011

Out of the toilet...



Catchy title? Hahaha yeah it has something to do with singing.

"Paul punta ka sa bahay sa Sunday, birthday ng mama ko at bunyag ng anak ko" a text message i got days ago.

"Paul dalhan mo ako ice cream. Double dutch" ahahahaha.

A while ago i attended the 61st birthday of my ex's mom, likewise it was the christening of baby Blue, my ex's daughter.

The taxi ride towards their place made me want to back out twice along the way. The long road going to their place just made me remember...too many memories...nine years of memories.

Once there i could not even knock at the door. Glad to see that some of their relatives still remember me. Her father greeted me and guided me in, a few seconds later her mom arrives and i really felt so ashamed since they treated me like a VIP guest. Sobrang nahihiya ako.

We were at the second floor living room, her mom pointed at the television set..."Look the TV you gifted her is still working" she said and i just paused for a long time staring at the LG television set. I remember i gifted her that television from my first paycheck eight years ago.

That time then their TV got destroyed, and my ex loved watching movies and playing games. I remember that Saturday morning where i went straight to the appliance center and just bought the TV set without thinking. Got in on a cab and went to their place. I texted her telling to meet at their gate.

They were speechless and so was i. I didnt know if what i did was right but i just had to. Wouldnt you do the same?

I do remember them having a dog named Panther. They really loved that dog. Panther was a good dog, very malambing but he guarded the house well. That dog was loved and they were heartbroken when he died.

My dog Koffee, a Japanese Spitz gave birth a few days later and i gave her one puppy. We named it Fluffy. And you know what Fluffy is still alive after seven years and he can still recognize me even if i have not been there for a long time.

The food was catered and baby Blu has become healthier. Tumakaw daw sa milk ahahaha. The food was delicious. After eating i sat by the living room and ex sat beside me and began to sing along to the karaoke. Wow, i do remember she couldnt sing years ago but this time she could already sing.

Her mom sat nearby and i told her that i was surprised hearing her sing well and she laughed so hard. Ex sang three songs then at the fourth passed the mic to me. I took it but i didnt sing because i have not fomally sang a song in six years.

"Paul kumanta ka, idedicate mo sa akin birthday ko" her mom said and i just laughed.

"I brought you ice cream" i whispered. "Ay oo nga. Manang kunan mo nga ako ice cream" she exclaimed just like the days we were at home. She does love double dutch and she really liked it.

After thirty minutes when i was left alone at the living room the karaoke was at random mode and Martin's song was on. Be my lady. After six years i just took the mic from the table and started singing nyahahahaha.

I started soft, then after a few jitters i felt relaxed and i was in my singing mode again, just like before. I didnt notice i was belting it out. People were gathering and checking out who was singing. I felt ashamed.

"Lip Synch?" one asked and i was surprised to see ex there, i remember the sparkle in her eyes just like before whenever i sing in front of a crowd. "Hindi! Boses niya talaga yan. Siya talaga yan" she exclaimed and i was really embarassed already but i just had to finish the song.

I remember being a newbie professor years ago. We newbies had to showcase our talents. Of course while my co faculty mates dances i sang and the students thought it was lip synch ahahaha. I did sing again in one event to show it was really me and everytime there was an event they would shout my name non stop until i had to go on stage and sing.

Then one day while conducting classes i got a visitor. They told me they were doing a fund raising event and asked if i could sing for them. Hahahahaha. They were persistent so i said yes. Three days, two concerts per day. One in the morning and one in the evening. Ex attended all of them. Even if i was just singing the same songs.

I said you dont have to come anymore after the first and second. But she wanted to, she was my number one fan. She gets a high perhaps seeing the crowd go wild and cheer for me. Aint that a great feeling? Where you know in the crowd that there is one who believes in you. And even if she was seated amidst the crowd my eyes would always find her.

With that you just have to give it your best and go all out. E ako pa maloko i really can get the crowd go wild nyahahahaha.

The best memory, after one concert, me and ex were walking out and a group of kids came rushing with notebooks and pens. "Autograph!" they shouted BWAHAHAHAHAHA. I was like "SAY WHAT?" nyahahaha. "Sige na Paul" she said and so i couldnt believe i was signing autograph for kids and teens. That was the time i learned that they were the beneficiaries of the concerts. All the proceeds would be used to improve their school.

One of her uncles who knew came to the living room, "Sabi ko na nga ba si Paul yon e" he said for i sang again six years ago in their home. I do remember that day, ex knew i could sing, she has been to my concerts but her family didnt know. That day i belted out one song and everyone just looked at me surprised.

I guess i found my voice again. Iguess i never lost it. No i wont be joining PGT nyaahahaha. But i watched lately THE VOICE from NBC. Its a cool show that would challenge AI.

Before i left i belted out "Ayoko na sana"

I guess i needed this day to happen to know my real place. Her aunt still calls me Jonathan. She is the only one who calls me that, the rest of them calls me Paul. There were some relatives i just met today and they were happy to see me finally they said, dati pictures lang daw. Even after what has happened i am grateful to her parents and relatives because they still welcome me.

But i am embarassed, nahihiya ako sa mom niya kasi she treated me really VIP style the whole day. Sobrang hiya ko. Ang daming bisita pero she still makes sure to check on me every ten minutes. Sobrang nakakahiya. "Paul pumasok ka sa kwarto may sasabihin siya sa iyo" she said. I didnt enter. "Palabasin mo mga kaibigan mo at papasok si Paul at may sasabihin daw siya sa iyo" she said to her.

Hahahahahaha. What what she planning to do?

So i entered the room, me and ex were like staring at each other dumbfounded. "Bakit mo ako pinapatawag?" i asked. "May sasabihin ka daw sa akin" she replied and i just laughed. "Sabi ng mama mo may sasabihin ka daw sa akin" i said. "Ha? Alam mo naman mama ko..." and so we just went out and stayed at the living room.

What was her mom planning anyway? Yeah she has been trying so hard since 2009. I know what she wants but its not possible anymore. I am just ashamed to tell her. Whenever she brings up the topic, even when she calls me up from Saudi i just remain silent.

I know its your birthday, and i know what you want to happen. I am sorry. But even if things are already this way i promise to take care of them while you are away and go back to work. I will watch over them. And if they need anything they can call me up. Thats the only gift i can give you. Anytime, for anything.

You see peeps, the we dont have to let the hurt linger on. We can outgrow that and be civil instead. At least now this friendship is founded on something really deep. Nine years of happiness. But i will still call you Mama Mary.

This day taught me a lot. I found my voice. My journey has a new direction.

I finally found closure.


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